Dear Weekend

To my all so loving weekend,

I used to see you all the time. When the days were cold and dark and empty without any hope in the future. All the days meshed into one and I never really valued you in my life. Is it too late to say, now I do?

You make my heart sing. When I know I’m in the middle of the week and you’re just two days away my heart does a drum beat that resounds in my ears and carries me everywhere on a happy cloud. I don’t see the haters then. I have two days of you and I wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. Even If I sit at home or I’m at a party, I’m all so aware that you’re my gift that comes every week.

Since sundays here are the beginning of my week here in the middle – east. I pay special attention to doing everything that I day dream about during the week. I plan to use you wisely. But you slip through my fingers so easily and before I know it I’m hitting my snooze button to wake up on sunday morning. But I know you’re coming back to me soon, so I let you go.

This weekend was fun wasn’t it? I slept in, I went on a mini-shopping spree, I met a few friends and now I’m here writing you a little note of gratitude. What’s the best part?

IT’S STILL MY WEEKEND!

This morning I woke up real early to catch the sun rise. There will be a few days like this in the coming months and maybe none at all. I work almost 10 hours in a day during the week and travel back and forth 2 hours. So, you my weekend are all the more precious to me. Don’t think otherwise.

Until next week then, Ciao.

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What to say when your boss asks you to marry his son

Say NO  like this…….

….and if you follow it up by doing something that will make his opinion of you  change in a hurry. Do that too !

So I’m having a normal day at work and my Boss took me by surprise.

Let’s go back to the beginning of the day when I found out that my Boss was angry because I took a short leave and came in to work for half the day. This is after I informed all the necessary people that I would be coming in late to work on account of official work that couldn’t be put off for another day. ( Since I’m still on a probation, this doesn’t sit lightly with anyone) Unfortunately, apart from me the only other person who manages and does all the administrative duties chose the same day to take a sick leave.

I’m sure that was unintentional (Or was it? More on that later). But while I let PSL (Phony Sick Lady) know that I would be in late that day. She decides not to come to work ( I’m suspicious here because she looked perfectly fine when she came into work the very next day.No doctor’s appointment too. And after I asked her if she was doing OK, she says sometimes she wants to know how the office would run without her. say WHAT again? ) I have to bring to light here that I took her job and do all administrative duties that she used to do earlier. Stay with me on this alright? She works in a different department presently.

Moving ON. So  I come in late as planned and the Man ( a.k.a ‘ Fire-breathing dragon’ and ‘Smoking up a Storm’) rants and raves and tells me never to put him in a situation where he is forced to fire me. I sat silently through all of his explosions and told him that I had informed HR and all the other departments that I would be in late that morning since he was in another country.

To make a long story short. I sat down with my Boss the next day(after working hours) and had a little chat with him. He’s great to talk to, when he knows that you are apologetic or have something important to say to him. He is from Iraq and like most Arab men have loud voices and dramatic use of their language when riled into a temper. He is one of them. But I’ve seen the worst. I live with my father who has a temper that can match Hitler on his worst day. So it doesn’t faze me at all.

While we got to talking after I apologized profusely for putting him in a difficult situation. What do I have to lose, right? I need the job. If it pleases him that I apologize, I will do so. I don’t really know when being in his favor might come in handy. So we talk and then we move from work to family and each other’s native countries. Out of the blue while I’m talking he says :

Boss-Man : Darling, how old are you?

Me : I’m 25

Boss-Man : Oh. For someone you’re age, you are really very young to be so wise. I’m asking you because I have a son…

Me : ( I hope my face doesn’t show my complete and utter disbelief) …….

Boss-Man : …and we are looking for a girl for her. Would you be interested? What would your family say? Do you marry outside your community too?

Me : ( Breathe. Don’t laugh. Answer wisely – he’s your FREAKING BOSS!! )

Me : I’m not really interested in marriage anytime soon, I’m sorry. My family has a mix of different races and includes americans and dutch. I think we have to be one of the most multi-cultural families across the three continents that we are spread out in.

Boss-Man : Oh never mind then. But when you do get a boy-friend, he needs to see me if he has to marry you. He needs to take my permission I mean.

Me : I will invite him over to work one day then. You can see for yourself and then be a guest of honor at the wedding.

Boss-Man : I would absolutely love to be invited to an Indian wedding.

( Talk then steers towards safer topics like cultural differences when it comes to marriage)

So that’s the whole story. I google searched ways of getting myself out of a question like that. And I swear I think I’m going to be the first person to write something like this. SO bizarre. It feels unreal to even write about it.

 

Dining in Style

We need to treat ourselves now and then. I think that’s what life is all about. This can happen only if we can afford to splurge occasional extravagance on ourselves of course. There’s something about giving back to the people who raised me from birth that fills me with quiet joy. I like to do it often and I have brilliant plans in my head to send my parents on a holiday or buy them that one kitchen gadget that has my Mom in a flurry of squealed delight. In my Dad’s case anything that is electronic and is my best bet.

I’ve grown up in a family where nothing was handed over to us on a silver platter. We had to earn everything from scratch. Now, thinking back on childhood memories. I never felt any different from the other rich girl who brought fancy toys to school or had the best school uniform and pointed out to my pigtails and mockingly asked me why I had done it up that way. I know we all have school bully’s. They come to torment us all throughout our school life and SURPRISE, SURPRISE they are there to greet us at work too. Those tormentors are more commonly named Work Colleagues and in some not so surprising cases can even be your Boss. Lucky us.

Anyway, I have strayed from my point. I decided with my next pay check. I am taking family and a few friends to a beautiful restaurant close to where we stay. This is an Indian restaurant and it is in one word – Elegant. It’s named Zafran. Indian cuisine at it’s very best and since I have been to the same restaurant in India. I can vouch for its authenticity and food. I simply can’t wait to eat here.

I love to experience new things and this may come as a shock to some but we often don’t go dining outside in Indian restaurants when we eat the same meals at home. But this is exciting as they twist the same home-cooked meals( Indian home cooked , I mean) and make it something exquisite.

You can take a look here, if you want to see where I’m taking everyone.

Breathtaking isn’t it?

King Fried Prawns (Limbu Jhingae is what it’s called in Hindi  i.e the official language of India)

Chicken Tikka (Left) and Butter Chicken and Naan (Right)

 

Biryani anyone? Every Indian’s delight and

I haven’t met a single foreigner who doesn’t love this

as much as we do.

 Look at all the free advertising I did for Zafran. Wow! They should let me be their campaigner and I am so affordable. I offer everything that draws the crowd into restaurant. Anyway, here’s to the soon-to-be dining experience and I will post more pictures on that very soon. This is the “Before” pictures. Coming Soon – “After” pictures in Zafran of us à la bloated-tummy syndrome.

 

Leap year tomorrow

And I’m back. Did you miss me much?

Well, I missed writing. I thought of it every single moment and procrastinated my way out of it every single day. I built myself a small pile of excuses this time which I will not encourage myself to start writing about now. Work is taking it’s usual toll on me (I’m very pleased to say. I want to work and short of being a workaholic, I have no complaints). When I think back on all those days when I was job-less. I thank and bless this job every day. It might be the wrong one for me but it is the only one for the moment and come rain or hail. I stick to it.

That’s not to say I should put up with anything thrown my way. And OH BOY! A lot has been flung my way. I have recently been given more food for thought all thanks to the people I work with. Who knew that all the slogging and slaving that I did to earn myself a humble Master’s degree would go against me. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite? An added advantage and all that jazz. You might be surprised (Or not), that some people don’t like the fact that you ( YES, You who are going to be – Me, for the remainder of this post) upstaged them somehow in Life to get a degree while they don’t have one.

I feel for them. I do. I know some of the most successful people who have made it big in their lives with no degree and more with no education whatsoever. I know of tall tales and life-moving, heart-shattering moments that have dragged people from rags to riches and this has been no mean feat. It carries with it, it’s own blood-soaked tears of pain and suffering. These are the same people we look on today and wish to emulate.

You know who I’m talking about…

Take your pick. He can be your Steve Jobs or your Oprah Winfrey. Everyone has a story of success they share with the world. We see the stars and the bright lights but we don’t pay attention to how they came to be there. The long working hours and tears of frustration. Not to mention the pride they had to swallow and loneliness that comes with being at the very top of the pile. Success can be a lonely road and less traveled by some . I know I have read that somewhere but can’t recall at this particular minute.

When we look at another person’s success. Is it because we envy them their right to be in the place that they have painstakingly earned? I can’t judge anyone because I might be the one holding a degree today. I might posses everything in your sight that makes me perfect and the best. However, what you have is experience. Age old-wisdom, hit-and-trial methods that has lightened the black in your hair to grey and put the deep timbre in your voice. I might score a brownie point holding a degree, but what you seem to forget is that you already possess those skills needed that help you do your job so well. I have the ideas but none of us lack the creativity. So a degree is important and an essential commodity in a competitive world. However, experience and technical knowledge rank high in any work place too.

So while I look upon tomorrow with favor because It’s one more day in February. I wish you well. I wish you joy and hope that tomorrow brings you success and love.

 

Everyone makes mistakes

I’ve heard this one line “ Everyone makes mistakes” very often. Now more so, since I’ve come to live in a home away from home. We have all heard this one-liner. I never realized how closely it would replay and intertwine itself in my life up until now. For a time now, I’ve failed to realize that I’m on my own. Living with your parents does that to you. There comes a time when we need to separate ourselves from family. For our own good. To start making lives for ourselves. It might come as a rude shock if we are just thrust into the throes of hard times. It would be like being cast out at sea, on a boat with no paddles or motor or any help whatsoever. The people you depend on strangely turn away when you need it the most.

We face adversities at all walks of our life. The way we react to it makes us stronger, wiser and better individuals. We grow. We learn. We cry and We laugh. I have learned that no matter how tough times get. It’s only just the beginning. A series of unfortunate incidents can deal you with a death blow. Time and again if you want to get up, there’s a force that insists on driving you to your knees. Until you re-think and re-learn things about yourself and what you have to do, in order to be different. By different I mean, to help yourself get out of a difficult situation. Also, when you are in that isolated island of pain. There is now one but yourself who is going to get you out. That rescue mission, the S-O-S signal that you send out to the universe. It reflects back on you. You have to do this. And only you can make it through the hard night. But when you do, It is the most exhilarating feeling of triumph that awaits you. Words cannot describe that feeling that makes you your own man in a world where everything can go wrong but if you believe in yourself, nothing and now one can cheat you of that feeling. Not a single soul.

I have always been highly independent. That’s what makes me deal with family pressure, work and other not-so-good things in my life. Recently, my family has been having a hard time dealing with a series of mini setbacks in terms of finance and work. All of us deal with down-sizing at our work places to finding new jobs, school activities and reaching out for help only to have it spurned and thrown right back in your face.

In those times I feel, we learn who are true friends are. How long the friendships you have cultivated of the years come in handy. The support from family and loves ones mean a lot and are a life line in an already selfish and material world. How to weed out people who are only causing you more pain than necessary. I recently got rid of one important weed like that in my life. I hope I find it in my heart to forgive soon. It only is causing me more grief. Anyway, I have changed. I trust now one and suspect everyone when they talk to me. This I learned in two work places that taught me the hard way never to be trusting. It made me re-think ideas on humanity and taught me a brutal way of dealing with life and people’s emotions.

Not everyone is treated in a bad way, in a strange country. But foreigners are always at a disadvantage. We protect ourselves by learning fast, being quick on our feet and most of all never trusting what a person says, but paying close attention to what they do. Therein lies the truth, and the lies they try so hard to camouflage.

Until, next time. Love and Peace to all.

 

Pain

I define pain with the amount of time it takes for me to let the dam burst inside me.

If there was a way to erase every hurt, every harsh word and every physical and mental trauma of the last few months I would take it. I know the old saying, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. It’s good to see how resilient one is when you are put in hot, VERY hot water. But those times have stuck to me, for what seems like forever and most days merge together to wreak havoc on my already muddled senses.

For a while now I have contemplated giving up. But it isn’t an option. Fight, they say. But what’s left to fight for? What do I have that’s going to contribute in a small way to life as it is. I feel defeated,small and let down in every possible way. I have been beaten into submission again and again. Until I can’t help but scream and cry and think of every possible way to get out of my own skin and into another’s. Can I use a body double to live my day life?

Escapism. I have been told I do it often. How do I do it? I run away from anything unpleasant. That’s what they think. If I had done that then who was the girl who fought till her very last breadth for justice when she was denied it a year ago? Where was the same girl who got a job, made regular payments and rose above the hate when people mocked her and verbally accused her of things. If you haven’t walked a mile in my shoes, there’s nothing to say you understand what I’ve been through in my life.

I stand alone. I walk alone in my pain and grief. I deny any means of human comfort from people around me. The same hand that consoled me are the ones who are the first to cast stones at me. I give up. I can’t please everyone. It’s a selfish world and I’ve woken up to smell it’s stench. People will always have their own agenda when asking and telling me stuff.

I’ve also learnt one thing. The people who care most of all are the ones who silently watch you fall, learn through it and pick yourself up. They are the ones who applaud the loudest when you succeed and whisper words of comfort when there are none left. Why have I never seen through the loudness of assuming people? They cover up their falseness and artificiality in high-pitched falsettos and jokes. Looking beyond strained smiles, you can see the coldness of their persona wash over you with the force of an arctic wind.

I need to forgive them for what they did to me. But not now, not tonight and not so soon. Let me grieve.

 

To My Grandma

I have the best grandma. She is universally loved. She is feared , respected and someone most people are awe struck by. She slips easily and candidly into roles of mother, daughter, sister, movie star, rock n roll dancer. And she’s just 75. But what I love is that she is my grandma and all her grand-children come to her for advice and love. 

We reach out to her during troubled times and she never forgets to give us a reassuring smile and hug. She listens to what you have to say even when she is roaring mad at you. She gathers all the criticism people throw at her and does things her  own way. That’s how she shines. Mostly she does it all, with a humble heart, ready smile and helping hands.  

There are generations of people who she has helped saved from crises whether it comes to work or family life. She has been there for all her friends even when they seem to forget her at her hours of need. She is beautiful. She is strong. She is what every woman should be. 

Growing up in two different countries never gave me enough time to spend with my grandma. But I spent the best seven years of my life living with her as an adult. I decided to do a course that helped me advance in my career and also make up for lost time by bonding with my gran. I moved in with her. My parents lived in a different country. So I enjoyed what every grand child does when they go to stay at their grand parents. FREEDOM!

There are days when my grandma used to drive me crazy. Managing a household ( i.e finances and saving money) with her was not easy. She is highly – opinionated and has seen some brutal days growing up. I listen to her only up until the point when I know things can be managed and saved in a different way. Looks like I’m definitely cut from the same cloth. My gran also has this annoying habit of suddenly becoming deaf when she doesn’t like answering certain questions. I think she gets perverse pleasure in knowing she torments another that way. I can laugh about it now, but when I need her to answer me she suddenly can’t hear me with me yelling real loud from the next room.  Also, if I were to have a whispered conversation over the phone she knows everything from who I spoke to, what the conversation was about and if I need to go outside in a rush. I wish I had instances that I could share but nothing that comes to mind right now. 

But I love my grandma to pieces even if I don’t show it as much as i could. She turns a year older this july and I just feel so lucky to have had a presence such as hers in my life. She calls me her pillar of strength. But she can’t be more wrong. She is my pillar of strength. I have seen my grandma go through a heart attack. While gasping for breath, she makes me come closer to her. Bent down in an awkward angle to catch what she is saying , I hear ” Talia, Go to my cupboard and get this packed for the hospital, etc. This is where you’re going to find $$…” Horrified I told her to calm down (all this is happening in an ambulance) and everything will be taken care of. I have also seen my grandma hold herself rigid when her youngest son met with a tragic accident and was wheeled into intensive care right before her eyes. As we held each other in comfort. That was the day I realized how human emotions are so fragile and can be easily obliterated when death comes knocking. My paternal uncle ( My dad’s younger brother) the apple of everyone’s eye passed away recently. My grandma has used all her reserves of strength and still some more to be strong for our entire family. 

My grandma’s name is Maureen. If there was any more regal name that did her more justice, point it out to me. She is a queen a midst drifters like us who reflect light only through her powerful shine.